As a hormone health coach and a woman in her reproductive years, this age gave me mixed feelings; the word “geriatric” comes to mind (IYKYK). For the sake of this post, I also googled “women at 35” and things like middle aged came up, “the change before the change,” loss of volume in the face and marionette lines all popped up. I actually read them out loud to my husband and we laughed. This information is so aggressive and it’s understandable why women fear this age, or getting older for that matter.

While there were waves of anxiety, I took a pause and tried to reframe my own narrative. The story I’m telling myself now is: 1. I’ve learned so many nutrition and lifestyle changes over the years to improve my health, improve egg quality and age gracefully. 2. I’ve done so much inner work, and learned so much about mindset that even if a thought pattern like this pops up, I can acknowledge it and let it pass.

I started jotting down a few things I’ve learned over the past 35 years so I could see how far I’ve come; and in reality, a lot of these are learnings or relearnings from the past few years. These are in no particular order - some big learnings, some small, and I actually had so much more I wanted to include (maybe in 5 more years ;)).

1. Age is just a number, but with each passing year, I'm reminded of the beautiful blessings and valuable life lessons that come from growing older.

2. You, and only you, are responsible for your happiness. It’s up to you to make time for what brings you joy. While it may sound scary, it’s also quite beautiful and empowering.

3. We cannot regulate other people’s emotions or experiences. We can control how we respond.

4. Healing is not linear and takes a lot of time, so it’s important to give yourself grace throughout the process. Remember to take time off from healing too.

5. You cannot pour from an empty cup - it is not selfish to prioritize self-care. Give yourself permission to disappoint others if it means protecting your peace.

6. I am not for everyone (and you are not for everyone) and no amount of people pleasing will change that.

7. In that same vein, people pleasing is a sure fire way to burnout and can be detrimental to your health.

8. Societal norms are so last year, and the year before that. Create your own rules and your own timeline.

9. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You can’t keep doing the same things and expecting different results.

10. Self love and healing are intertwined. i.e., you cannot heal a body you hate, and you cannot heal if you don’t love yourself. If no one told you this today my friends, you are worthy of all the love in the world.

11. Our perception of our stress is often more harmful than the actual stressor. While we will always have some form of stress, we can try to control how we perceive that stress, how we respond to it and how we manage it.

12. Warm showers, music, breathwork, long drives, surrounding myself with nature and good people are some of my favorite ways to calm my nervous system. Focusing on my nervous system has made the biggest difference in my hormone health.

13. Suppressing your emotions will come out in other ways. You can be kind and speak up.

14. Progress is much more important than perfection; as a matter of fact, there is no such thing as perfection.

15. Coffee after breakfast is important for blood sugar balance, stress levels and optimal health. Oh, and add cinnamon.

16. Comparison is a thief of joy.

17. More often than not, there is no “right” decision. It’s the decision that was best for you at that time.

18. Similarly, we always have the choice to reframe our mindset. Sometimes a simple, “I get to” do this versus “I have to do this” can change your whole mood.

19. Our minds can't distinguish between real and imagined events; so be mindful of your thoughts, for they shape your reality.

20. Decreasing toxin exposure and increasing magnesium help lesson period cramps immensely; both of these things are also essential for hormone health. One way to start? Ditch your plastic water bottle (as much as you can).

21. Travel is good for the mind, body and soul. It’s a beautiful escape that you can bring back with you.

22. Protein, healthy fats and fiber rich carbs at every meal is a gamechanger for your health.

23. There is no right way to exercise. Choose what feels best for you and try to move your body every day, even if it’s just going for a walk.

24. Small habits and lifestyle changes can make the biggest impact in your life. Start small.

25. No day is promised. Everyday is a blessing. It’s important to cherish each day, and every moment with people that matter most.

26. You find what you focus on.

27. Manifesting may seem “woo woo” but it has worked for me. Be clear on your vision, remove fear and doubt and align your behaviors to your goals. Write down what you what, over and over, as if it’s already happened.

28. Low cortisol is mostly present in people who have run the course of having high cortisol output for so long (it’s me, hi) that their adrenal glands respond by lessening production and output of cortisol. The adrenal glands simply can not keep up with the chronic levels of stress anymore. Cortisol balance is so important.

29. Inner work will make your outside world so much better.

30. You can start over as many times as you need to.
31. If it requires you to betray your boundaries, it’s not for you.

32. Practicing gratitude and focusing on glimmers will attract more good things in your life.

33. People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.

34. Rest is productive, it’s okay to let go of hustle culture. Slowing down and being present is the real flex.

35. The best thing you can do for yourself and others is to heal.

I know other women who have gone through similar feelings, so I hope these help you too.